Old Fart
Mom's name for my stepdad (aka her husband)......among others.
Mom was accused today of having a dinner date with another man....just because the phone rang and nobody was on the other end. EVERYONE gets those phone calls.....I know I do, and often.
Let me explain:
Mom isn't eating dinner at the table anymore because of Joe's sloppy dinner manners......the guy is 89 (give him a break, Ma.) I can sympathize with her though.....it's really tough eating dinner over there. I sit so I can gaze out of the window while feeding my face.......one look at old Joe, your appetite is outa here! He has more food on his face, glass and chest than on his plate. Yes, he wears a bib ("bibbie" as Mom calls it). So tonight, he called her on it, "Why aren't you eating, you're always so fat." (not a good thing to say, Joe) "You aren't going to Shop-Rite, I know you have a dinner date with another man." (giggling to myself) The last thing Mom wants or needs is another stinkin' man. She ignores his comment (good for you, Mom) and picks up the phone to call her friend, Henny. (She is 90 and taking her to the store with her.) Two hot chicks going to Shop-Rite....Woo Hoo! Well, Joe picks up the other phone to listen who is on the other end. Mind you, he makes no attempt to be sneaky about it......but, thinks that Mom didn't hear him. (he's breathing in the phone with the TV blaring in the background). When Mom and Henny came home from grocery shopping she told Joe that she (65) and Henny (90) met two handsome, sexy young men and had dinner at Red Lobster. (Told ya they were hot chicks!) Mom emailed me about this.......she wanted to make me laugh.......it worked.
Poor old pant shitting, Joe.
Mom's name for my stepdad (aka her husband)......among others.
Mom was accused today of having a dinner date with another man....just because the phone rang and nobody was on the other end. EVERYONE gets those phone calls.....I know I do, and often.
Let me explain:
Mom isn't eating dinner at the table anymore because of Joe's sloppy dinner manners......the guy is 89 (give him a break, Ma.) I can sympathize with her though.....it's really tough eating dinner over there. I sit so I can gaze out of the window while feeding my face.......one look at old Joe, your appetite is outa here! He has more food on his face, glass and chest than on his plate. Yes, he wears a bib ("bibbie" as Mom calls it). So tonight, he called her on it, "Why aren't you eating, you're always so fat." (not a good thing to say, Joe) "You aren't going to Shop-Rite, I know you have a dinner date with another man." (giggling to myself) The last thing Mom wants or needs is another stinkin' man. She ignores his comment (good for you, Mom) and picks up the phone to call her friend, Henny. (She is 90 and taking her to the store with her.) Two hot chicks going to Shop-Rite....Woo Hoo! Well, Joe picks up the other phone to listen who is on the other end. Mind you, he makes no attempt to be sneaky about it......but, thinks that Mom didn't hear him. (he's breathing in the phone with the TV blaring in the background). When Mom and Henny came home from grocery shopping she told Joe that she (65) and Henny (90) met two handsome, sexy young men and had dinner at Red Lobster. (Told ya they were hot chicks!) Mom emailed me about this.......she wanted to make me laugh.......it worked.
Poor old pant shitting, Joe.
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